My dear friend asked me this recently.
"You seem so grounded all the time and so present all the time with them. I totally admire that in you and we were both hoping that at some point in your motherhood experience that you have broken down and yelled!"
Do I yell? Absolutely. Do I yell at my children? No,not ever. I yell "I'm feeling so MAD right now". I am real about what I am feeling. You would be a terrible parent if you never yelled. Children can sense immediately when there is a mismatch between your tone, your emotions and what you are saying, and they lose trust. They also learn that emotions are not OK.
Expressing our feelings is healthy. Blaming, shaming, projecting, or ever holding your child responsible for how you are feeling is not. So, be authentic, but own up. Your feelings are yours. You choose what you feel. No one ever makes you feel anything, including your child.
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