natural parenting center

a child ' s eye view

Our budding photographer has been experimenting.

learning to read

We are savouring a mini ski vacation to celebrate Papa Tim's birthday, although for me and Sascha it is mostly joyfully hanging out by the fire in the lodge, while Papa and Elliott play on skis. Three days without doing dishes, wow.

The other night Elliott was "reading" the salt and pepper and mustard and ketchup packages.

"Raspberry, cream, honey, cream, popcorn, rosies, cheeks, cream."

He looked at me with a grin, like we were both in on a secret. And we are. The secret is: no teaching necessary.

We are currently reading this book on life learning and it bolsters our intuition. One of the chapters by Naomi Aldort talks about "teacheria". What is that overwhelming urge of so many to instruct, lecture, preach, and in the process take all the fun out of learning?
We are watching it on the ski hill.

Amazingly, children learn. The question is, are we willing to trust?

You cannot disappoint me.

[caption id="attachment_236" align="alignnone" width="432" caption="joyful jo. photo by heidi www.heidibuecking.com"][/caption]

When you hold this phrase in your mind, your interactions with your children will change for the better. This is at the heart of "working with" as Alfie Kohn refers to in Unconditional Parenting.

Here's an example. Echo is 20 months old. She has gone through various stages of elimination communication, diapers, using potty happily and peeing all over. Right now she is favoring peeing on the living room carpet. When she has to go, Natalie offers her the toilet, and she also offers her the carpet. She explains that the toilet is convenient because then nothing has to be cleaned up, but she actually gives Echo a real choice. If Echo chooses the carpet, Natalie gets a towel for her and lays it on the carpet, and there she pees.

What's the big deal? Echo will pee in the toilet consistently, someday. In the meantime, imagine how cared for Echo feels. Her mama is 'with' her, really with her.

So yeah, this photo doesn't exactly match the story. The idea is that kids are a whole lot of happy when their preferences are respected.

button set winner is...

Anita Woz!
Congratulations, Anita. Email us your address and we will send you the set of Feeleez buttons. Thanks for posting.

sprout pouch winner is...

Jennifer! Thanks for posting, Jennifer. We are so happy for you. I am sure you will love your pouch and it will help your little one thrive. Keep us posted about your adoption. I've recently come across some wonderful resources for attachment parenting with adopted babes. Let me know if you are interested.
Love NPC team...
I will email you with information about how to claim your prize.

Sascha ' s new hat

Sascha's new hat. Ahhhh. What fulfillment to 1. actually finish something 2. make something handmade 3. make something handmade for my baby.

I've been thinking lots about self-care. Maybe the ultimate self-care has nothing to do with having to take a break from your kids. Maybe its more about creativity. Knitting is so great because you can pick it up for two minutes and get a little meditation time in.

So sweet, this little girl in the green striped hat. How did I ever get to be so blessed to be with her and her brother every day?

weekend giveaway

Sprout Pouch is offering 50% off of a baby sling, as our weekend giveaway. Simply comment on this post and we will pick a winner on Sunday night. That will be TWO giveaways tomorrow.

My sprout pouch sling has cradled two babies and it is still beautiful. Our dear Missoula mama friend, Caitlin, started this company so that she could balance work with being mama to her two wee ones and also contribute to the well-being of families.

Nowadays, I look across the room to see Sascha standing up at the couch! After seven months of having her strapped to me every day, it is so strange to realize she is having her own little experiences. My sweet friend Gabe said, "Well, it must feel so fulfilling to know that you carried her every minute until she was ready to move on her own". Ahhh yes. That helps me with the sadness of these changes which happen all too quickly, for my liking. Thanks Gabe.

Being happy

Being happy is the most important task of parenting. In our culture, that goes against the grain, to be sure. But well-being is what nature intended, so just let go of the negative thinking, the ego, the judge and critic, and you'll notice a lightening up. Accepting everything as it is right in this moment is the fastest way to get to happiness. Children know how to do it.

Let go and open your heart. You might die today. Is this how you want your last day to be?

what do i do when...

Struggling with this...
We get up, have breakie then it's time for school. Just as she gets downstairs, she collapses to the floor, flails and kicks and begins to cry. Usually it's something like a clothing tag which is scratching her skin, her boots haven't been tied the way she likes them, or her coat is too tight (she's extremely sensitive to anything like that). But it's gotten worse, to the point where she won't even tell me what's wrong. She'll start to scream and after a few minutes, I have to carry her out to the car and ignore the screams. She seems to get worse if I try to talk to her. This morning I completely ignored her and although it was horrible, she stopped crying earlier than usual.
I'm stumped. I don't want to be a drill-sergent mum, ignoring her crying, but talking about it both before and after school doesn't seem to solve anything as she can't express in words what's going on.
At school, she's amazing. Never loses it, very calm (it's a montessori which really seems to suit her) so her teachers can't relate when I talk to them about it. I've read the Mary Sheedy 'Spirited Kids' books but to be honest, it doesn't seem to be anything we do. She just seems to need this release all the time. I'm wondering if she's getting enough exercise, and whether putting her in more sports might create an outlet for her.

Here are some ideas to try...
1. DANCE PARTY. She needs an emotional release, just as you've realized. Sometime between wake up and going out the door, crank the music up really loud and have a wild dance party. Totally let loose and have a blast all of you together. I'm not sure organized sports is the outlet she needs right now.
2. ROLE PLAY. At night, sometime when she is calm and content, get some puppets or dolls and act out the scenerio with her. Ask her what the mom should do. Ask her what the daughter is needing in that moment. See if she is more able to share what's going on with her in this playful and safe way.
3. LEARNING FOR YOU. She is your teacher. It seems that she is teaching you how to be completely accepting of a wild range of emotions. She needs you to just BE with her, without fixing or changing or judging what she feels. It sounds like you are well on your way with this, so continue to look inside yourself for any "reaction" and work to calm yourself and allow her to be however she needs to be.
4. HOMEOPATHY. I'm telling you, working with a good homeopathic doctor could help immensely. Many times what we think is a personality trait is actually simply an imbalance. Being sensitive to clothing tags is a symptom. I love working with Dr. Mark Janikula (www.vitalhomeopathic.com) and he works remotely, so you might want to check that out.

Love to you all.

wee spirits

Oh sweet space to BE with our children, no dishes, no phone ringing. Singing, dancing, yoga, play....freedom to be. Delicious.

Create a practice every day to connect with your own heart, to be in tune with who you really are. From there, love flows with your child. Are you willing to accept your own humanity?