You cannot disappoint me.

[caption id="attachment_236" align="alignnone" width="432" caption="joyful jo. photo by heidi www.heidibuecking.com"][/caption]

When you hold this phrase in your mind, your interactions with your children will change for the better. This is at the heart of "working with" as Alfie Kohn refers to in Unconditional Parenting.

Here's an example. Echo is 20 months old. She has gone through various stages of elimination communication, diapers, using potty happily and peeing all over. Right now she is favoring peeing on the living room carpet. When she has to go, Natalie offers her the toilet, and she also offers her the carpet. She explains that the toilet is convenient because then nothing has to be cleaned up, but she actually gives Echo a real choice. If Echo chooses the carpet, Natalie gets a towel for her and lays it on the carpet, and there she pees.

What's the big deal? Echo will pee in the toilet consistently, someday. In the meantime, imagine how cared for Echo feels. Her mama is 'with' her, really with her.

So yeah, this photo doesn't exactly match the story. The idea is that kids are a whole lot of happy when their preferences are respected.