expectations are folly

I'm receiving another round of the lesson: drop all expectations, period. It's a lesson that seems to show up over and over. In daily life it seems I'm can find the groove with that one, just taking things as they come, noticing my funny little expectations of oh, perhaps getting outside at some point, then laughing at myself as we end up all day in the house. But not having expectations when it comes to something like a holiday? Oh boy.

So, first expectation: blogging last night. Ha! That was kind of out of the question. Should have known since travel day meant very, very fatigued children (and parents), loads of tears and much cuddling needed.  

No matter how awesome the destination, travel is a big deal. Leaving the comforts of home, new sites and smells and people. It's easy to underestimate the impact of all that. And, by the way, our destination sure is awesome...

 

We are staying at the Intercontinental Montelucia Resort and Spa in Paradise Valley, Arizona. A treat given to us by my dear uncle who works in the travel industry. 

Expectation number two that I didn't know I had: lounging by the pool. Ha! Children require contant moving about, snack fetching, game playing, consoling and cuddling, nursing, back in the pool, water getting, towel wrapping. Why would this location change any of that? That's pretty much the name of this parenting game. It IS what you do, no matter where you are.  And how much more fun it is when I remember that.

Expectation number three...that we would stay the full week. Hmmm. Tonite we were on the phone finding out about plane rides home to Missoula, Montana tomorrow (we got here yesterday) because Elliott has a new sore tooth that is causing lots of trouble. As Tim was on the phone I heard myself saying to myself, let go let go let go. I could feel the sensation of falling forward into whatever is going to come next, instead of gripping onto what I want it to be. We aren't sure what will happen, since we were able to talk to our homeopath tonite, so we'll keep you posted.

Expectations are folly. This may very well be one of the biggest lessons our children have to teach us. And not just because of how their needs can change things, but because having expectations at all takes us out of being with what is actually happening. And what is actually happening is all there really is, anyways.

Comments

[Linda Buecking]

I wish I was a tooth fairy and could make it better for Elliott.

Love you all. Gramma Linda

[I.]

so true!
for me the first step was let go of my expectations for my son's birth...it is hard!! i am glad when i am able to do it. yesterday he fell asleep and today i find myself struggling with not expecting him to nap again. it is hard for me to accept that nothing can be expected or controlled. i practice 15 min of ZERO expectation everyday and even that is hard. my mind is busy with thoughts and plans, as if its unity is threatened by completely letting go and following someone's self totally.

i hope the tooth gets better!

[Alyssa]

Oh this is so true!!! We took our first family vacation a few weeks ago and it was so different from what I thought it would be. Good luck with the rest of your travels.

[Ivy]

How do you do it? Give up your expectations. I've let to learn that lesson, although I probably should. The expectations often put me in a bad mood when they aren't met -- and as you said they're rarely met. How do you just let go? You make it sound easy, although I'm sure it is not. Hope the tooth gets better!