Day Three: declutter

If you have just joined us, welcome. This is Day Three of the 21 Day Parenting Challenge. Every few days, I will post an inquiry for you to ponder in writing, talking to others, commenting here. The goal is to become a more conscious and loving parent. Look back at the posts you have missed, if you please. We are so glad you are here.

What is going on inside you?

This? or....this.

Decluttering. Many of you commented that you want to be more present with your children and in your life. It is only possible to be present when we have created space inside of ourselves.

This requires:

decluttering our past.

decluttering our present.

nurturing ourselves now (more on this later).

We will be pouring energy into all of these areas throughout this course. Right now, on day three, my question to you is this....what are you leaving unfinished? Is this course one of those things that you are dabbling in or are you choosing to dive in? Are you telling yourself that you will reflect and write later, or are you diving in now?

We clutter our insides by leaving so many thing undone. We have lists and lists inside of us of projects we want to get to, notes to write to others, things to do, stuff to read. This unfinished business piles up and we drag it around, so heavy.

Clutter clogs us up, drains our energy, makes us grumpy. Clutter from our past, and clutter that we add in our present. With all the best intentions (I'd love to make that for so and so, oooooh, I'll read that online magazine a little later, yes, must respond to that email, make that phone call, cut out that recipe.) All this busy busy busy stops us from being who we want to be.

What are you willing to declutter right now?

::empty your inbox

::take a load to the goodwill

::hire someone to do the recycling for you

::clear your closet of all but your most favorite clothes

::eliminate materials for all but your most treasured want-to-do projects

::finish something now

::make a promise to not start anything new for two weeks

:: put yourself on an information diet-no news, newspaper, non-fiction reading...only fiction and music for one solid week

::set the clock for one hour computer time max/day for one week

::take a day completely off from the computer each week

::say no over and over

::what are you NOT going to do over the next couple of months?

::if you want more accountability to finish this course,  then would you like to email me your answers? I won't respond in detail, but that added structure of sending them to me can be very powerful

::eliminate as many things from your schedule as possible

I am hearing little one in the other room rustling about with a sneezy nose, so that's all for now, friends. I look so forward to hearing more ideas from you and wish you all spaciousness. See what comes up for you.

Comments

[Mess Buster]

Hmmm. We have a clothes donation box that's four blocks from our house... I could make a trip...

Great post :)

[elizabeth]

I'm also one of those in the shadows, reading and not really commenting. I usually go through moments where I definitely purge unnecessary things but my biggest obstacle as far as purging is my mind. My mind is always clutter with thoughts of I need to do, what I have done, etc. etc.

[kris laroche]

hi angela:
i've been thinking about this declutter post all day, feeling kind of agitated about it for the very reason you are mentioning. all of the strategies i suggested are "outer" clutter strategies which can just get you into a sort of frenzy of 'gotta get it done' and the thing is...it is NEVER DONE!!! so, i'd like to focus on that inner clutter which is: thinking. mostly thinking about doing. how can we feel spacious inside, even when there are bags of clothes behind the door ready for the car and our kids are asking us to play with them? i don't want to promote decluttering if it stands in the way of being there for our children and missing the whole moment that is opening up right before our eyes. dealing with stuff is endless. it's kind of like dealing with ego...it will go on and on, so just dabble away at it when you have a moment and when you are inspired, knowing that all that really matters is creating space INSIDE OURSELVES. space to just BE.

[Angela]

amazing, the connection i feel with your words. my busyness lately has been because i have been decluttering our physical space (the old clothes, extra toys, unused junk that piles up behind closet doors, etc.). made the commitment to have a yard sale with a neighbor this coming weekend and so clearing out lots. the problem i am having is that with all of the physical decluttering, my mental clutter is piling up. in between every story and snack and email and laundry load, i am constantly moving and trying to go through stuff. the want to let go of our stuff and really simplify is there, but the time to do so seems to be pressing, and sometimes interfering with the goal of being more present. any thoughts on the balance of it all?

[Shelly]

You hit the nail on the head. Today I am very much the first picture. It goes in waves where things just flow and then I can feel it begin to build up and then I have a day or two off center of crabby chaos.
My goal to declutter is to schedule less. We only have maybe 2 days a week where we need to be somewhere by a certain time and I'm reducing that. Anymore living by the clock makes me very stressed. We have a rhythm, but I hate deadlines. I've also really learned in the last few weeks to do what I can/feel like and then ask my husband for help and accept what he does. I'm also going to try to view the upcoming holiday from a child's perspective because my personal perspective has me very worked up. Family baggage.
I have been doing these and just making a word doc of my own. I'm working up to sharing more. I am enjoying this!! Between this and just finishing 'Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves', I've had a great week (except today)! And supposedly "when mom's happy everyone's happy".
Thanks again!!

[Jenniesmith@gmail.com]

I've been purging at my house lately. Today I plan on starting in on my closet. I went through the coat closet and my dresser yesterday.
Tomorrow.. it's in my cards for a trip to Goodwill! :)

[Ivy]

You hit the nail on the head. I'm reading but not doing any of the work involved in this course. It's in the back of my head not the front. This time of year stresses me out and I'm letting it win instead of letting it go. Thank you for the gentle push.

[Hilaree]

Ooh...you got me...I'm one of those, "I'll muse about it and comment later" people. What I want to say today is thank you. I am going to step out against my fear and perfectionism today and declutter one drawer. With three children under the age of five...that will take the whole day! :) I may also make a fleecy pillow I've been procrastinating about due to aforementioned perfectionism. My babies can help me. Peace to all who stop here today. Hug your families!