is your house messy too?

Today, I found myself amidst yet another group of lovely mamas. We belong to a buying club and we gather on Wednesdays at the home of our food goddess. It seems innocent enough, picking up dried cherries, salmon, cheese. In actuality, though, many would consider this group to be subversive, radical, even worthy of home raiding by the Feds because we are managing to buy food directly from the farmers, food that is unavailable commercially in many cases.

This adds a tingle to the tango since we are, in fact, part of a Revolution. There were quick lessons given on raising kombucha babies ("don't separate the mothers from the babies before they are ready"-hmmm, sounds familiar), tips on fermenting kefir, rapid browsing through this book, discussion of where to find crocks large enough for a massive batch of sauerkraut, and of course, deep and personal sharing about the shadow side of these lives at home.

"The other day, I wanted to run out and ask the other neighbourhood mothers, is your house messy too? Because mine is about to send me over the edge!"

There were furious nods and reassurances that all those blogs are just organizing that one, glorious corner in the house, that the rest of the house couldn't possibly be that clean and beautiful.

"I was so mad at my husband this morning, I mean how can he just sit down and read when there is so much that I'm doing around the house?"

Oh yes. Hello martyr. We decided that this was the safe place to let that side of ourselves rant a little. But as soon as those words spilled out, we spiraled back to looking at ourselves, the role we play in all these dramas that we feel alone with. Why not sit down and read if I want to? Because I'd rather have a clean house and I'd rather have strongly attached babes pulling for my attention.

Radical homemaking. Radical food choices. Radical parenting. Radical responsibility.

There is a theme here. As we grow and nurture all these cultures in our kitchens, creating units of production rather than consumption out of our homes (a point that Shannon Hayes makes so beautifully in her book), and as we grow and nurture these little beings pulling at our legs and helping stir the dough, so too we must grow and nurture our whole, mature, conscious selves.

There is no time off from consciously creating every aspect of our lives.

"The world has nothing to give us. It can only show us what we're giving ourselves" Phillip Golabuk

The martyr may be part of who we are and resisting that part of ourselves is of no use. (What we resist persists). Today, as we stood up against the establishment in one small way, we also gave voice to what often goes unsaid and that needs so badly to be heard. Mamas shared and laughed and nothing on the outside changed, though the inner experience was altered, lightened. 

Glad. I left these women smiling and utterly grateful for my whole life.

Comments

[Angela]

love it! radical because we are choosing to live in harmony with our environment and bypassing the corporate hold over our system. i'll take it any day over the norm. so exciting that there is a movement, fuels me to know communities are rising like this all over the place. sent the link to this post to several local mama friends, a radical community in the making, and they loved it. kombucha babies, indeed!

[Emma]

I think we often overlook the concept of taking responsibility of our thoughts, feelings and actions as Mothers of young children. There is a culture of martyrdom. Thank you for addressing it, the more we accept ALL of ourselves, the greater the positive impact on our children, and, maybe MORE importantly, on our relationship with our child's other parent and ourselves. I wonder whether my group of women (mother) friends and I help to perpetuate each others 'victim stories', I have found confronting one another with this is very powerful and makes for more authentic relationships. Also, how funny that what used to be considered so normal (buying from the producer) is now considered a radical act!

[kris laroche]

Kristen:
I think it's so radical and it is this way because we want it to be. There is something juicy for us to be part of changing things, revolutioning together, otherwise we would have chosen it to be different than it is. It's fine and we are part of a movement..especially you. You are more powerful than you know, friend. Changing lives, changing our little corner of the world.

[kris laroche]

o Teri. that bread sounds delish. and the black market selling and sharing? totally fun. thanks for sharing? where are you living?

[Teri]

Love it! Actually my husband (who was featured in Sandor's newer book The Revolution Will Not be Microwaved) is on his way out the door to sell his homemade bread (organic, handground, sourdough, baked in a handbuilt brick fired oven) at our small community "black market". I know what you mean about radical acts. This little community that I live in is filled with people doing amazing things that we could all get arrested for! It's pretty inspiring and a great environment in which to raise kids!

[Kimberley]

I have two jars of kombucha brewing right now that make guests raise an eyebrow every time!( along with the other ferments... something about food sitting out that squicks people out!) ... and a super messy house right now with garden dirt tracked all over the place, knitting piled everywhere, morels drying, laundry piles waiting to be folded, other laundry piles waiting to be washed... and still others waiting to be sorted and passed on, playmobile universes set up on every available surface,and mountains of dishes waiting to be tackled. But I have other things to do... a sunny day to enjoy( full moon-y kids to let loose!)
Miss you tons Kris! xox
I tried to order that book up here, but the library system doesn't have it yet. You are ahead of the game!
Much love
~Kimberley

[Joanna Smetanka]

Holy Full Moon! I am so glad I spent time with you ladies yesterday. It grounded me. It may not have seemed it, but I felt like a raving lunatic yesterday, and those few hours with you mama's set me straight-ish. much love to you!

[Summer McCreless]

What a great community you live among! Thanks for writing. I feel much of this here in Alabama. Hugs!

[KC]

My house always has a bit of a mess. I clean in the morning and by the afternoon it's back the same state. Who knew a sixth month old could mess up a house so fast.

Loved Radical Homemakers! I devoured that book.

[Kristen]

so, here, at the house of the "food goddess" (oh, to feel that way on a daily basis) after a full day of buying club pick-up, mama rallies on self-inflated soap boxes - your words move me. The tears of a resounding message for more "radical" - are raging. And, I wonder, why, this is so radical? For me it is real, and I long for continued community and support, so that one day this came be ---- the norm! love you Friend!