dandelions behind our ears

I took some photos of our day...

 a sweet little sweater I knit a few weeks ago from this pattern.

the peas and spinach are happy about the last few rainy days

picking Lambs Quarters from the shady little patch by the hammock

 saag paneer with Lambs Quarters, homemade sourcream and homemade paneer cheese & sourdough bread with coconut oil

 
 a picnic dinner with my loves

 

and this...
   
 and this...

(p.s. Do you ever experience blog envy? Before writing this post tonite, I checked around some other blogs I love and could feel my energy sinking lower and lower. What is that? There is some belief operating there that I want to banish...do I think that because other people are doing fabulous things that there's not enough goodness for me to also have a marvelous and prosperous life? Do I think that when I read someone else's brilliant writing that means mine sucks? What a waste of energy. Then as I wrote this blog, I could feel it start to slip away. The louder voice came in saying...look at this life of mine. Thank you thank you thank you....for healthy children, a loving husband who provides so much for us, a beautiful home and community, a bounty of outrageously delicious food, and inspiration from others who are teaching me knitting and cooking and fermenting and growing. So then I had the thought: oh no. What if others come to this blog and as I shine my life out there, feel crappy in some way? How awful is that. I decided to let you in on my  shadowy self, those feelings that contradict all the goodness, suspecting some of you might have some of those sometimes too. Often I find that just saying it out loud helps it to evaporate. Knowing you are not, are never alone. Nighty night dear friends.)

Comments

[kris laroche]

hi martha.
i love that rephrasing of opposite side of envy being inspiration. thank you for that reminder...to look for what i want in something and go for that, rather than be brought down. i want us all to shine shine shine....and know that we are not less as a result.

[Martha]

Amazing food, garden, sweater, children, sky, feet, sketch of your day and time. The flip side of blog-envy, which in my experience is definitely real, is the inspiration/trigger it can provide: to stand in your own shoes, your own life, day, moments. There is so much cherishing to do, feel, experience.

[Jillian]

Thank you for writing that. I often feel that way after reading all the blogs by other amazing mamas. I am a new mom and sometimes feel I put too much pressure on myself to do all these amazing things everyday, instead of enjoying the present. Thanks for being honest! :)

[mrs boo radley]

Saag paneer...yum. Lovely sweater. Lovely post. We have much to be thankful for, don't we!

[Suzanne]

Of course I have blog/life envy! Look at all of this fabulous-ness. I think you are the most patient, tuned in and connected Mom I know. Homemade paneer, sour cream and cute sweaters? If only... I don't think my family will ever get to experience that! But, consistently reading about you being super conscientious and real, recommits me to doing my best for our family. Thank you for 'shining your life out there' - I love that.

[Mary Leveque]

Sometimes...after reading a few blogs I feel
that I do nothing with my day. Thanks for your honesty. I love the openness and "realness" of your life.

Mary

[gen]

Kris,

I had to laugh, as I have felt those very same feelings after reading your blog.

Thanks for sharing your feelings of uncertainty. You are so right that when we are open about our fears they lose their power. Ryan and I just finished having a long discussion about the fears and anxieties that we have surrounding our girls and each other. As I was giving voice to them, I could feel my heart get lighter and my breath fuller.

By the way. I absolutely adore that sweater!