natural parenting center

behind the pretty picture

After a day, or even a morning for pete sake, of creating homemade food, there is also this. This is the part we don't always show each other, leading to all kinds of feelings of inadequacy and such since, being human, we compare.

So here it is...and this is a regular occurrence around here. Total mayhem. Dishes and food and left overs and half finished projects everywhere. This is just one room of it, too. 

I choose this because I love making food more than I love a pristine house. Most evenings when it reaches midnight and I'm still putting it all back together, I make a new plan for tomorrow...fewer projects, finish what I start. Then tomorrow comes, I gulp some coffee, we all feel rumblies in our tumblies,  and it begins again. I can't seem to help it. I don't want to help it. Yes to food production and creative expression on the domestic arts front and no to perfect order. 

Every moment we make a choice. Being present with our children. Paying attention to small beauties.Breathing more deeply. Stretching to say hello to our bodies. Playing and laughing and telling the truth. Creating. 

What are you choosing each moment? If it is what you truly want, then let the rest just fall away.

dandelions behind our ears

I took some photos of our day...

 a sweet little sweater I knit a few weeks ago from this pattern.

the peas and spinach are happy about the last few rainy days

picking Lambs Quarters from the shady little patch by the hammock

 saag paneer with Lambs Quarters, homemade sourcream and homemade paneer cheese & sourdough bread with coconut oil

 
 a picnic dinner with my loves

 

and this...
   
 and this...

(p.s. Do you ever experience blog envy? Before writing this post tonite, I checked around some other blogs I love and could feel my energy sinking lower and lower. What is that? There is some belief operating there that I want to banish...do I think that because other people are doing fabulous things that there's not enough goodness for me to also have a marvelous and prosperous life? Do I think that when I read someone else's brilliant writing that means mine sucks? What a waste of energy. Then as I wrote this blog, I could feel it start to slip away. The louder voice came in saying...look at this life of mine. Thank you thank you thank you....for healthy children, a loving husband who provides so much for us, a beautiful home and community, a bounty of outrageously delicious food, and inspiration from others who are teaching me knitting and cooking and fermenting and growing. So then I had the thought: oh no. What if others come to this blog and as I shine my life out there, feel crappy in some way? How awful is that. I decided to let you in on my  shadowy self, those feelings that contradict all the goodness, suspecting some of you might have some of those sometimes too. Often I find that just saying it out loud helps it to evaporate. Knowing you are not, are never alone. Nighty night dear friends.)

rainy spring market day

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 
 

We took the trolley bus to the Clark Fork River Farmers Market this morning. Oh the greens of spring. Thank you to every single organic farmer out there for growing such beautiful food for us. May you continue to thrive. 

beauty unfolding: a manifestation story

 The other day, I sat in the house feeling out of sorts. A little weepy, a little empty, a little agitated. Instead of letting my mind get involved and try to figure it all out, I managed to remember, somehow, to close my eyes and let my own will go. 

We are such willful beings. What I've learned recently is that our will GETS IN THE WAY of receiving unimaginable beauty, abundance, delight. Stepping away from willing things to happen and instead feeling the energy of allowing and willingness and receiving is far more powerful, not to mention providing immediate relief from any state of suffering. 

So, I did just that. It was as though I was handing over my little bundle of worries to the great infinite space out there and saying, here you go. Do with these (and me) as you will. I trust you. 

Then, I received. First it was an idea: go for a run, move your body, get outside. Saschy willingly snuggled in for the ride (amazing), naked and cozy. Isis got her collar on and looked at me with happy surprise, and off we went. Within seconds, internal lightness returned. 

Not far down the street we saw the flash of a Northern Flicker flying by. This bird speaks to me. "Ride the drumbeat of the Woodpecker into another dimension. Move to the beat of your own drum. Trust yourself" I often get this little whisper in my ear, just when I need it. 

Oh the power of consciously creating. What is your manifestation story from the week? If we all start to look for this magic, then we will begin to see it more regularly. Intend deliberately and then watch the beauty unfolding. This might become a regular thing around here. 

right now

I just finished watching Julie and Julia.

Baked beans french style are scenting up the house, baking a little tonite and a little tomorrow (It is, after all, 11pm).

Two sweet babes are snuggled up in bed and while I couldn't wait for them to go to sleep, now I can't wait to snuggle up between them.

The laundry is clean and in a massive pile, unfolded. 

The floor needs sweeping.

The bowl of homemade custard (all those eggs, cream and honey, you know) has emptied itself into my belly.

Playgroup, skype with my sister, and call with girlfriend has me humming with soul enriching goodness.

Sourdough moved from bowl to pot to rise for early morning baking.

I'm sitting still, feet up, smiling. Grateful, at the end of this day. 

rough day cure

Today was a little rough. Elliott and Saschy have been hot with fever the last couple of nights. That alone is nothing I worry about. The truth is that crawling into the family bed with two extra snuggly, extra warm bodies is super alright with me. I have come to like fevers, at least those that fall below the extremely high temps. Bodies have such powerful healing forces within and fevers are incredibly helpful for restoring the balance and putting a quick halt to any little invaders. 

But today, their moods were impacted. Crying, sobbing, screaming, hitting, holding, nursing, arguing. Prickly, to say the least. By around 8pm, with bedtime still looking a long ways off, I felt like I'd run a marathon. Without the high. I could sense my own prickliness rising and then, a little magic arrived on the scene. We sat down at the computer to look at photos I had been downloading and decided to play the slideshow. On this new Mac, the slideshow is gorgeous and it plays some pretty great music along with. 

That cured me from squirming away from What Is. I started to cry and felt an immediate jolt back to this moment, overflowing gratitude, and the beautiful raw love of being a mama. I want all of it, ALL OF IT.

 




     

  

a satisfying food day

There is something oh so satisfying about watching our children eat nourishing food. I imagine it's that way for every mama and papa on the planet. Total bliss. Yesterday was one of those remarkable days where much preparation and love came together in tasty combinations. I am a beginner in the world of Weston A. Price eating and have relied heavily on Nourishing Traditions and Wild Fermentation and plenty of experimentation.  We are also enormously fortunate to live in a community rich in food culture, expertise and homegrown goodness. I wish everyone everywhere such full sustenance.

Here is what we ate:

raw milk cherry kefir smoothie (quart of kefir, 1/2 raw, local honey, 1 cup frozen local cherries)

cod liver oil gummy fish and biokult probiotic capsules

crispy almonds (here is a recipe)

salmon sushi rolls 

(leftover Taste of Alaska salmon mixed with mayonnaise, leftover brown rice, grated carrot, salad greens from garden, Lambs Quarters, tamari, last of the pickled dilly beans, mixed and rolled in toasted nori sheets)

fresh sourdough bread with homemade raw cream cheese and honey (raw, local)

potato leek soup with homemade chicken stock and two cubes of frozen pesto from last year's harvest

and for dessert...a few more frozen cherries

Oh how grateful I am for such bounty. 

 

dear crystal

o sweet pregnant friend. 

you are sounding so sad about the situation with your husband and your son. you want it to be different than it is. i'm imagining you feel kind of trapped...wanting to be able to shift things, but unable to talk about it, entrenched with your partner, torn by your love for him and your love and desire to "protect" and nurture your son. and with this baby about to emerge, you are maybe scared, wondering what this whole new being will be coming into with your family and what will change or not change as a result. 

for a moment, try on the perspective of "radical responsibility" . you cannot change your husband, you can only change you. what is your role in this situation? are there some unconscious, hidden beliefs that are contributing to it? if you believe that you are the creator of your whole life, then what do you see? 

you can be the model for loving each of them in the way you want them to love each other. accepting even the conflict. allowing it space, trusting that they are engaged with each other in some way that is mysterious to you, and that may be important for each of their development. you don't have to parent the way your husband does. he doesn't have to parent the way you do. 

many people write to us wondering how to "get on the same page" as their co-parent. while you may leave favorite books around, hoping they pick them up and "see the light" of parenting with compassion, it doesn't happen that often. 

my best advice for you is this: live as though you have what you want. imagine their connection being so strong, envision every detail of that, get that feeling in your body as though it is already happening. then let it go, let go of all attachment to that outcome. trust and live in your own strong feeling of fulfillment. adore your husband for being who he is. adore your son and nurture him with all your powerful mothering instincts. let the rest go.

i've been practicing this with my dad, noticing that there may be some part of me that is kind of attached to it being the way it is. like i want the drama, or the "cause" to rail against or something. interesting. i can begin to see how my deeper beliefs are contributing to his behaviour. so then i turn those into what i really want to believe. today i was imagining him telling me how much he loved the way i mother my children, how incredible they are as a result, how sad he is that he didn't do that more himself and feeling all that fully. it was delightful. you are allowed to ignore the facts completely and step fully into how you want things to be. then watch what happens. my dad called me and thanked me for telling him that i hoped he would consider being more kind and respectful with my kids (instead of threats). wow. the universe is on your side. it wants you to have what you want. our only job is to ask for it clearly, then get out of the way. 

i am imagining a powerful and beautiful birth for you, crystal. it will be just what you need. blessings to your whole family.

kris

they know how being kind feels

 I peeled away another layer of the onion today. In a particularly sweet moment between Elliott and Sascha, I noticed myself wanting to say something like...now how does that feel to talk to each other and help each other out like that? Is that fulfilling for you? What's that like for you? Isn't that more enjoyable than hitting and yelling at each other? It seems you are much more likely to get what you want when you are kind to each other.

But I kept my mouth shut (thank you GRACE). I noticed that belief hidden in there that "children must be taught how to...insert anything, right? We generally think they need to be TAUGHT everything...including how to notice what feels good so that they are more likely to repeat that thing they did that felt good. 

That is utterly ridiculous. Uh...I'd say it's safe to assume that every member of the human species is pretty dialed in on the "do what feels good" thing. As I rode along towing these two little people in the bike trailer, listening to their connection, I settled into the cozy feeling of TRUST. They will figure it all out and I can keep my mouth shut most of the time. They have immense capabilities in negotiating their relationship. I can step in to protect them when needed, offer big doses of empathy often, ask an occasional question here and there to inspire some reflection on their part, and trust. 

As I watch the younger ones observe with fierce intensity and then copy older ones and adults, I am reminded about how powerful this mode of learning is. Modeling. They will learn so much from how I am with them. If I say thank you, they will say thank you (or in Saschy's case, hank oo mush). If I yell, they yell. If I say I'm sorry, they say I'm sorry. If I eat chocolate, they smell chocolate (oops). 

I am not saying that loving guidance isn't a HUGE part of what I do every day with them, because it is. (Lest you think this is permissiveness that I am espousing-it is not.) I am simply saying that we can stop lecturing all the time. We can be still and listen more. We can fess up to our own fears and let go just a little. We can examine each of these beliefs about parenting and children that run rampant in our culture and challenge them within ourselves. 

my amazing ordinary life

tenacious helpers peeling garlic

a very sunny and beautiful "jail"

long walks around the block with picnics, treasure huts, kitty playing, "juice making" at regular intervals   

 
time and space to watch them grow

sunny mornings with babies

whether real or pretend, how she tenderly nurtures each is just the same

morning smoothies together 

putting out a "fire", oh my hero-boy

warm days, intoxicating scents, naked girl

"Change your perspective, and the most ordinary things take on inexpressible beauty."

Karen Maezen Miller