That last post, asking about judging yourself, arose in a moment when I was steeped in self-judgment. Sitting at the sewing machine, mid morning, with Saschy on my lap and Elliott hanging off my shoulder, I felt frustrated. In that moment of frustration, I thought...(and here is a worthy question whenever you are feeling something that is uncomfortable)...what am I believing in this moment? I was judging myself to be "bad" mother. How could I be sewing these shorts right now? This is crazy!
I have noticed lately that I kind of sneak sewing and knitting in, behind my own back, because there is a belief in my mind about how un-spiritual it is, how it's just my ego trying to get recognition or something, too focused on material things, blah blah blah...
When I wrote that question to you, my wise Inner Being was lovingly asking that question of me. I felt into the feelings more and beneath the frustration was sadness. I wanted to get off my own back, to be more tender towards myself in that moment, as I might do with my own children. Let it be ok that I was sewing in the midst of whatever was happening.
I kept sewing, following the flow of the creative juice, encircling my children within it as much as they wanted to be. When I held these shorts up for Elliott, he beamed. You made those for me, mama?
He put on his soccer pads, cleats, and those long wool socks which are his "soccer socks" with those new shorts of his. I felt that opening which comes with creating, that vibrating hum of making something with my own two hands. And let it be more than just ok that I went ahead and made something. It is the energy and intention that we bring to our tasks which makes all the difference. Sewing a pair of shorts can be a very fine thing, indeed.
hi linda. oh that composter is amazing. my hands reek of it right now because i was just playing in there with it. so efficient making this dark brown crumbling hot compost. and now i forget the name of it....nature mill. hope you get one. fantastic. love to you...
Posted by: kris laroche | June 28, 2010 at 09:47 PM
Chris, Hi, What is the brand name of your electric composter? No oil for Nat and Nathan, Yahoo!!
Gramma Linda
Posted by: Linda Christensen | June 27, 2010 at 01:51 PM
ok, those shorts and that child and his socks: way too much. awesome, hilarious, brilliant. thank you for cracking me up and making my day. and, i draw on your writing. that question to ask is so helpful. and the notion that you or me or any of us in the world consider ourselves "bad" or "good" mothers, at any moment, also interesting and i think so important. i experience it a lot, externally and internally. What is that about? seems like a very old archetype we are responding to. also, not that i think you're looking for support to keep hand-creating, but as a maybe helpful aside, rudolf steiner writes about the etheric self ("the life body") of both child and mother, and suggests that the mother's etheric self is very drawn down in the child's early years, and that handwork is a way to restore. a little summary here:http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/05/27/the-four-fold-human-being/
Posted by: Martha | June 25, 2010 at 11:31 AM
beautiful shorts from such a beautiful mama. so proud to call you my sister. xoxoxo. you are inspiring me to find a home and pull out the sewing machine!
Posted by: heidi | June 25, 2010 at 08:50 AM