overwhelmed

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i just can't do it all.

the list of all i want to do is totally made up by me. no one else to blame. 

i want a clean house

i want awesome food

i want to play and frolic outside with my children for hours on end

i want to move my body vigorously and feel strong and limber

i want to write and take photos and express myself honestly on this blog

i want to sew our clothes and knit and roll bits of wool roving into colorful balls to play with

i want to stay in touch with those i love

i want to have socks without holes in them and bras that give my boobs perk

i want to be my shamelessly and unapologetically myself

i want to watch movies

i want to write in their baby books regularly

i want to play music and dance and sing and laugh, laugh, laugh

i want to be stalwart 

i want to stretch and do yoga, even if just at home

i want to keep Feeleez business thriving

i want to contribute to the food buying club and finish that cultures order

and right now, as i look out at the dishes and pile of clothes to put away and knitting i long to tuck into, and quickbooks that lay open, i'm so damn sleepy and furious. 

just one of those moments.

Comments

[kris laroche]

i'm grateful for ALL of you. thanks for writing. what a support you all are becoming for me. phew.

[kris laroche]

martha. as usual, you move me. thank you for this. helps me keep on spilling knowing that you are out there reading and connecting.

[kris laroche]

thanks miranda. thats a helpful link. i like that you put yoga first.

[MIRANDA]

Yes this is me too! What I ever did with my time before kids I don't know. If you get 20 mins though I found yogadownload.com 20 min yoga audio class I love! It's the first thing on my to do list.

[Martha]

i liked this and kept thinking about it later. it's the fact that your blog is so uncontrolled, so ready to spill, (lose its way, as you say), so honest about wondering what its doing, that makes it such a force for me. i realize that comparisons don't make much sense, but i noticed that i rarely read other 'parenting' or mom blogs these days because i find them all so convinced of themselves, so controlled, that i lose interest/connection. that's my own business, i know. just thinking about that, too.

[MaeH]

Oh, I hear you. I definitely hear you. I once wrote on Facebook that I was so overwhelmed and frustrated by my "to do" list and my friend replied, "My grandpa told me that when your 'to do' list is done, you're dead." I had to laugh. Yes, I have to remember that my "to do" list (which consists of things that I have to do and also I want to do) is a reminder of my misc. roles and passions in life. No role, no passion = no life.

[Kjerstin]

I said something yesterday about being overwhelmed by it all and in response, my husband mentioned your post. My list looks a lot like yours. :) I feel like I know I can't do it all, but haven't given up wanting to be able to do it all.

As always, I appreciate your honesty.

[isa]

thank you for writing this!
i am there tonight too...hugs!

[Jenniesmith@gmail.com]

A day in the life a passionate mama. ((hugs))

[Kassia]

This made me smile. Yes yes me too!

My favorite: "i want to have socks without holes in them and bras that give my boobs perk"

My approach right now is focusing on one thing at a time. This month my goal is to do one short yoga sequence (lovely hip openers) every day. When anything else gets done I treat it as a bonus :-D

I chose yoga as my focus because it helps with everything else. Next month it may hole-free socks and perky bras, yay:)

[kris laroche]

yeah. they say boredom is a cover up for other feelings and i think thats true. thank you for being here.
with love, kris

[kris laroche]

oh mary. thank you for saying that. i lose my way with this blog so often, wondering what im doing and why. when i read something like this, i feel fortified and re-centered. i love these connections. with love back at ya. kris

[Mary]

Thank you. For everything-- you do, you are, you are creating. What a beautiful, honest example.

Much love,
Mary

[Grace]

Isn't it unfathomable that anyone, anywhere, anytime.... is bored?

Thanks for the honest post--

no lesson, advice, or any other pithy thing from me here, just-- Yep-- and YES.