i often catch myself thinking something that begins like this...
i just wish.......
::i could take a bath right now
::i could watch a movie right now
::i could finish this telephone conversation
::i didn't have to make dinner
::they would stop fighting
::we could live in japan for a year
::they would play independently
::the sun would shine
blah blah blah blah blah
what i just realized is that every time i think this way, i hand over my chance to evolve. every single moment contains within it everything i need to wake up, to know god, to be love. my mind will NEVER be happy with what is before me. it will always want more, better, bigger, different. ALWAYS. when i become attached to what i am thinking, when i take action based on those thoughts that want things to be different, i am asleep. unconscious. wasting this gorgeous, imperfectly perfect moment which is the ONLY place where truth lives. wasting this offering that has been given to me.
i have been given this exact moment for a reason, with all the parts i can't stand, which i would do anything to avoid and run, shrieking from. his is the precise script designed for me because this exact situation is, apparently, what i need in order to wake up. it is the key that fits my soul.
when i choose to keep wishing for something to be different, comparing and envying, longing and whining, then i postpone my evolution. life is wise and patient. it will wait and wait and wait for me. it will wait over many incarnations if that's what it takes. life will wait forever for me to see what has been right here in front of me all along.
do i really want to keep waiting?
jennifer. thank you for taking the time to describe so specifically what this post gave you and what you want. it feels so fulfilling to me to know this about you and it teaches me much. in deep gratitude and shared direction, kris xxoo
Posted by: kris laroche | January 20, 2011 at 02:43 PM
Late to the game, but I just read this post and wanted you to know how deeply it resonated with me and really pierced my soul. I haven't ever heard it articulated this way, but it is so true (for me, and apparently for others too). And the imagery and language you used (being asleep, waking up, etc.) really brought this concept to life. It is incredibly easy, I find, to get caught in the trap of "If only things were different" and "I wish I could do THIS right now instead of what I'm doing" ... and rarely (if ever?) have I realized, as you wrote, "my mind will NEVER be happy with what is before me. it will always want more, better, bigger, different. ALWAYS." That was the most eye-opening part of this post for me ... and made me stop and realize that I don't want to be living this way.
Grateful for your wake-up call,
Jennifer
Posted by: Jennifer Kaczmarek | January 20, 2011 at 12:46 PM
thank you for sharing these moments of waking up, they help me to do the same ;0)
Posted by: Heidi | January 11, 2011 at 10:07 AM
you are very welcome, michelle. im glad it spoke to you.
Posted by: kris laroche | January 10, 2011 at 05:29 PM
What a beautiful reflection! Thank you very much for sharing this- it really spoke to me.
Posted by: Michelle | January 10, 2011 at 05:08 PM