I honestly think that most of us don't have the slightest idea of what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. To live in the presence of others who have no interest in changing one single thing about us. To be around others who believe that every single thing we say and do, every way that we are, is totally great. Where we can DO NO WRONG. Ever.
Can you imagine?
Then imagine feeling that way about yourself. Whoa. It would be so much quieter inside our own heads. We would know what we really want, because there would be no "should", no fear, no shrinking from judgment, no conflicting opinions to wade through. Would there be any inner conflict at all? Things would be a whole lot clearer. Free-er.
We would pursue our true purpose because we'd actually know it. We could do good work in the world, and not doubt ourselves about it...whether that work is washing a dish or picking up dog poop or sitting in meditation, or reading a story to a child.
And here we are, doing everything we can to offer this to our children, without actually having it ourselves. We are making it up from scratch.
I love you for trying. You are more fine than you realize.
You are golden for giving them what you give them, Maryam.
Posted by: kris laroche | May 03, 2011 at 08:33 PM
I came back to reread this post because it's so golden. Thank you so much for understanding what I'm trying to give my kids, from scratch.
Posted by: Maryam | May 03, 2011 at 01:54 PM
Lucia...yes...your son as the healer guide. I like that. I also appreciate so much the sentiment that our parents did their best. I love them dearly for everything they gave, tis true. Love, Kris
Posted by: kris laroche | May 01, 2011 at 09:09 PM
So true... I'm making it up as I go along too. I see that my parents we're doing the best they could, and I'm sure they love me, but the feeling of never being good enough has been my companion for as long as I can remember... And I desperately want to give my boy something different. I know it begins with me, with loving myself unconditionally. I'm on a healing journey and my son is guiding the way!
Posted by: Lucia Figueiredo | May 01, 2011 at 03:13 PM
Yes Jill. You are doing SUCH a good job. I see you. xxxooo
Posted by: kris laroche | May 01, 2011 at 11:40 AM
Liz. I am there in your kitchen, making you soup, rubbing your back, whispering to you how everything about you is enough. more than enough. you are beautiful and you cannot make a mistake. love love love.
Posted by: kris laroche | May 01, 2011 at 11:39 AM
if i loved myself unconditionally, my mind would be absolutely silent. amazing.
Posted by: anne | May 01, 2011 at 03:02 AM
I've never commented before, but I had to when I read this. I just had my second baby two months ago and I feel like my poor two year old daughter and I are trying so hard to find our groove again since my son's arrival. My mom and my relationship has been deteriorating so terribly lately. I've been trying so hard to give my children more than I had, to truly love them unconditionally and have just felt like a failure lately. Your post made me feel so valued and honored. Thank you.
Posted by: Liz | April 30, 2011 at 08:44 PM
Thank you for noticing:)
Sometimes it's overwhelming and uncomfortable over here trying to love me and everyone else unconditionally when it's new and I can see how much good it is doing me and everyone around me.
And sometimes I just want someone other than my loving self to tell me I'm doing a good job and so with my joyful sobbing face I thank you kind lady, with the whole of my heart.
Posted by: Jill Smyth | April 30, 2011 at 03:56 PM